Here are the most disturbing Twilight spin-offs to date. I may have missed a few, so feel free to add them:
Edward Cullen is a Girl's Panty
Ladies, men find nothing more attractive than stripping you naked and staring into the face of that pasty kid from Twilight pasted onto a pair of granny panties. At the very least, they could have chosen a less disturbing picture...maybe one where Edward is winking in encouragement. Like, "Yeah, we know she's thinking of me, buddy...use it!"
The Repackaged Wuthering Heights
Anyone else ever get the idea that Edward is a raging homosexual? What kinda guy likes Wuthering Heights?
If however, it's true that Stephanie Meyer based Twilight "loosely" on Wuthering Heights, I'd definitely buy the next Twilight book. Cathy fucks a bunch of rich people and Heathcliff kills puppies. It can only improve the "plot".
Tattoos You will live to regret
Matt always says you should never tattoo a girlfriend's/band's name on any part of you. I'm not sure what he'd make of this.
The Edward Cullen Dildo
I'm usually supportive of people's self-loving equipment...but the Vamp just blew me away. This dildo not only sparkles but can be placed in the fridge so that you can have the full "sex with a corpse" experience "remininiscent of the New Moon's glow". By the lovely folks at Tantusinc.com - God bless their twisted little libidos!