Porn isn't a currency. Although it should be.

I regularly troll the classifieds for things I don't need bargains and I found this gem:

I'm sorry. Porn is not a currency. I've never heard of the explorers swopping land with the Indians in exchange for illicit etchings.

Plastic. It's marketing kryptonite.

So, I went to an exhibition for Marketing Professionals today. I enjoyed it because all the other marketers were trying to sell their stuff and it’s virtually impossible to come up with a sales pitch for me.

SALES PEOPLE: “Hi, I’d like to tell you about our awesome new exhibition material stand/radio station/magazine that will really boost your business. What do you do?”

ME: “We make rigid extruded thermoplastic sheeting.”

SALES PEOPLE: “Um.”

ME: “Basically we take polymer beads and melt them and put them through a big machine and then it becomes a big, hard plastic sheet.”

SALES PEOPLE: “That’s interesting…”

ME: “Let’s talk about your ideas for a jingle!”