I replaced my husband with a smiley face. I should have done it years agoooo.

DW is being a huge idiot about the blog...something about public humiliation and using his details without his consent. He said he's going to sue me because it's an invasion of privacy and might wreck his music career in the future but I think it's because during a heated argument I told him that I fed him the steak I had dropped on the floor earlier.

So I've decided to erase the whole incident of our marriage and pretend that I married a man called WD instead. And he's AWESOME. I've created visual aids for you because I'm such a genius at Photoshop.

Ah, here is me and WD. Eating cake on our wedding day.

He's a musician too. Only GOOD at it.

WD and myself on a date.

Dressed up as Corpse Bride for Halloween.

Valentine's Day

In addition, his hobbies include washing dishes and telling me I'm wonderful.

Oh, and that's what he looks like shirtless.

I love you WD. I'm so glad that humorless moron I was married to before was torn apart by rabid owls in that freak accident. I know it was a gruesome, painful death and most of his organs are still scattered in the pine trees behind the house but I'd like to think it meant something.