DW's blog ideas and other disasters

My husband DW stumbled upon my blog. (OK, not stumbled upon. I went, Hey DW, check it out I got a blog and he looked). Surprisingly he was not offended by it and has instead been harassing me with new blog topics.
* Did Jesus invent the toilet seat? His Dad invented pooping so we don’t know.
* Before and after shots of food
* Guest blog by DW Nagel: I am not an idiot, even though she says so, she’s actually a very unreliable person and not at all funny in real life
I don’t think there’s anything in here worth publishing but I can’t risk offending him. He’s my biggest source of material.

So...you think you can blog?

I've resisted the urge to blog for some time now, but seeing as how I have virtually no impulse control, it was bound to happen. Apparently you get blog consultants now, but you have to register your credit card to speak to them, and I can't remember the rand/dollar exchange rate so I figured I'd just ask a bunch of gay guys I met online and they asked me what a "Loch Ess Monster" was and I told them it's meant to be funny and they didn't get it because they go out and have fun on Saturdays and don't sit at home and compulsively look up weird shit on the internet.

Anyhow, I know the millions of you that follow my site will demand to see proof that the Loch Ess Monster does instead exist, so I've attempted to locate a grainy, out of focus picture as evidence. Google has not let me down and I discovered this thing online. It's either an odd-shaped cheeto or a weird Muppet vibrator of some kind.