Tom Cruise and other natural disasters

I watched War of the Worlds last night and have come to an important conclusion. Unlike War of the Worlds, the BP oil spill isn't an entirely bad thing. At the moment there is no way aliens are going to spend all that rocket fuel travelling millions of miles to invade Earth. No one wants to invade a shithole. Well done, BP!

Penises, BP execs and I know less about politics than it appears

My friend Matt got me hooked on this website called Huffington post. It's got all the American political happenings on it. (I don't really care about American politics but I'm really into Matt and am going to throw random political buzzwords at him until he is sufficiently impressed to marry me. If you don't understand this, it's called being a woman. It's kinda like that thing you guys do when you memorize our erogenous zones and pretend that you like going to the Farmer's Market and watching Grey's Anatomy. Men are such hypocrites.)

Anyway they had this picture up on there of the new BP executives:

I wanted to say something intelligent to Matt about the article, but I swear to God all I could see:

Essie: "Am I right? Am I right?"

Matt: "You have an odd little brain."

Essie: "C'mon, that's totally what that picture says."

Matt: "What exactly would they be peeing on?"

Essie (pause, profound voice): "The environment, Mattie. The environment."