Tuesday, July 13, 2010

I'm actually OK with all of you knowing that I pee

I was at my shrink’s office and I really needed to pee and she told me I could use the one in her office and I didn’t want to because peeing where other people can hear me gives me performance anxiety. It’s really bad. My bladder seizes up and no matter how badly I have to go, I can’t. And then I always end up NOT going because I’m scared people will think I’m pooping. No one must ever know that I poop.

I explained this to her and she was all like, “Why do you think you don’t want people to know you have normal bodily functions?” and “How long have you had this fear?”

I tried to explain that it’s not about fear, it’s a bladder seizure, and that I couldn’t possibly be held responsible for my bladder’s hang-ups. Then I told her I was in fact so cool about people knowing that I pee that I’ll publish it on the Internet and then she went quiet and made notes and that "mmm" noise.

I would KILL to see my file.

13 comments:

  1. Haha. My file's HUGE. I got to read what my psychiatrist says about me to my doctor today because I needed letters for an application form and some of it's pretty funny.

    I like how he wrote on the covering letter "I hope I haven't written anything you strongly disagree with.", knowing that he knows about my temper and the amount of times my parents have heard shouting coming from his room when I'm in there...yeah. He also described me as 'difficult', 'an oddball' and 'interpersonally challenged'.

    There's some comedic gold in this application form, there really is.

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  2. Don't worry, it could be worse. Your psych could just sit there and stare at you, trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with you, not saying a thing for half the session. That's how mine go.

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  3. I love my shrink! he's awesome! but he doesn't take notes. I wonder if he writes them up after I leave? But he has patients back to back so when would he do that?

    Does yours take notes?

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  4. I have the same thing! I hate going when someone else in the room!

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  5. I recently wrote a post about holding my vagina in public when I have to pee. Beat that!

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  6. So I just voted for you on the Featured Blogger for August thread on 20sb

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  7. I can only pee when someone is watching me- is that weird?

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  8. HAHAHAHA!!!
    OMG, hilarious! =P You're shrink, poor thing.
    But, on a serious note *clears throat*, fear now, the very, very same thing happens to me too. I think it is called Pelvic Floor Dysfunction... but no, it is very rare.
    Anyway, I just started following you and would love if you drop by my blog and follow back.
    xx Sana
    http://sanasyedaftab.blogspot.com/

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  9. My cat refuses to leave me alone when I'm on the toilet because he knos I'm available for petting him.

    Once, in highschool, during musical practice I peed in the normal bathrooms on the second floor becasue I was bored and didn't have anything better to do then trudge to the bathroom farthest away. I was "alone" and started to sing... someoen walke din and was like "Denise? Is that you? I'm telline EVERYONE you pee on the pot!" I don't care now, but then I was mortified.

    My best friend and Boyfriend live together, and the fact that forget to lock the door has become a game for them, not to mention my huge girl scream when one of them pounds on the door and i get too scared to keep peeing. Boys suck.

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  10. I get gun-shy with my pee, too. Last night my boyfriend and I were at a friend's house, and I had to use the bathroom but you have to walk through his parents' bedroom to get to the only toilet. I waited til we got home :/

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  11. For someone with Bi-polar disorder, social anxiety disorder and general anxiety... my folder is actually pretty small. Apparently, despite the random effects of said illnesses, I'm fairly normal O.o

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  12. I don't have a file! She just listens and... remembers I guess. I want one toooo :-(

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