Uh-oh

I feel like a husband whose wife walked in on him watching porn. Sweeny caught me browsing the "puppy" classifieds. Red-handed.

God. That's an evil glance if ever I saw it.

My cat is such an asshole

I totally forgot to buy my cat, Sweeny Todd, some dinner last night. I think naming your kitten after a serial killer sets a bad precedent. He walked up to me, meowed, rejected the pork sausage I offered him and then sat eyeing me as I watched TV...with blood lust in his eyes. I've attached photos.
It's this very thing that reminds me why I don't support vegetarians. They always say, "Oh, well, you wouldn't eat your cat, would you?" And no, I wouldn't. But MY CAT WOULD EAT ME. Eyes first. If I slipped in the shower and died tomorrow, you would find my half-eaten corpse in the bathroom, buck-naked. And its not like I don't put kibble out for him. He probably just prefers human flesh. It's disturbing. Why do I even a have a pet?
Oh yeah...no social life. Never mind. I made my bed, I must lie in it.