All's quiet on the Blogging Front

Well, I haven't been blogging much over the weekend because my mom is here with me while DW is in Namibia eating balls.

8 pm: She goes to bed. Complains the house is "too dark".
5 am: Wakes up. Complains sleeping has ruined her back.
8 am: I leave for work. I'm usually leave home at 9 am. But she's worried I'm "going to be late, as usual". (This was also the reason I showed up early for my own wedding)
9 am: Text message: "Will it kill u to sweep ur floor once in a while?"
10 am: Text message: "How do I turn on Dr Phil? Your TV does not make sense"
11 am: Text message: "All the cat hair on the couch is giving me hair fever. U should buy a cat hair brush."
1 pm: Text message: "Aw, the cat is lying on my lap watching TV."
2 pm: Test message: "Please buy more hay fever medicine. I think cleaning the couch has made me sick."

In addition, I fell off the porch drunk and re-cracked my previously cracked rib. But as long as I don't inhale or exhale it doesn't hurt.

My cat is such an asshole

I totally forgot to buy my cat, Sweeny Todd, some dinner last night. I think naming your kitten after a serial killer sets a bad precedent. He walked up to me, meowed, rejected the pork sausage I offered him and then sat eyeing me as I watched TV...with blood lust in his eyes. I've attached photos.
It's this very thing that reminds me why I don't support vegetarians. They always say, "Oh, well, you wouldn't eat your cat, would you?" And no, I wouldn't. But MY CAT WOULD EAT ME. Eyes first. If I slipped in the shower and died tomorrow, you would find my half-eaten corpse in the bathroom, buck-naked. And its not like I don't put kibble out for him. He probably just prefers human flesh. It's disturbing. Why do I even a have a pet?
Oh yeah...no social life. Never mind. I made my bed, I must lie in it.