More Conversations with DW

DW: "Could you do me a favor?"

ESSIE: "No."

DW: "Why not?"

ESSIE: "Because you never want to do me any favors."

DW: "Yes, I do!"

ESSIE: "No...you don't. You never want to. You wouldn't piss on me if my hair was on fire."

DW: "I would! I would totally piss on you!"

DW (takes a second to consider what he just said.)

DW: "That must be the weirdest compliment you've ever gotten."

ESSIE: "Not even close."

How to annoy a man when he is trying to do something nice

As women, you already know how do to this, but I thought I'd share :)

DW (watching a soap opera): "The women on this show are all ugly. You're prettier than all of them."

Essie: "Oh, gee, thanks for the compliment, asshole."

DW: "I was being nice."

Essie: "Pfft. You said, "these women are all fuck ugly. At least you are better than fuck ugly."

DW: "No, that's not what I said. I said you are prettier than all of those women."

Essie: "Jesus. So what you are saying is "Wow, these women are fuck ugly. Even YOU are prettier than they are."

DW: "I'm leaving now."

Essie (shouting after him): "Why? BECAUSE I'M SO UGLY????"