Monday, October 25, 2010

My qualifications for good furniture includes style, comfort and temperament

I was walking through the mall going furniture shopping with SuperDave over the weekend and saw the GREATEST FUCKING CHAIR IN THE WORLD...nay...THE UNIVERSE. And I was all like, "I'm buying that. Right. Now" and he looked at it and said, "It's ugly" and I was like, "No, it's wonderful. Can't you see it's shaped to make a smiley face?" and then he did the thing where he pretended not to know me but I forgive him because he is emotionally stunted because he spent all those years fighting Nazis in the jungle or something. (I'm not entirely sure what modern warfare involves. I think it's like Transformers but you don't drive around in a yellow car that becomes a robot because that's just conspicious. You should only drive your yellow robot car on the weekends. And only in places where there aren't Nazis. Come to think of it, I never finished the Transformers' movie. But I'm fairly sure there were Robot Nazi Cars in it. The long and short of it is SuperDave probably shagged Megan Fox and now I'm not talking to him anymore.)

You guys see it, right?

The Chair.

Digitally remastered for your convenience.

My view is that if you are going to sit something, it might as well be something that acts happy about it, not like those cold-hearted bastards on the bus when it's full and I'm tired and a bit lonely. I think it will be a great edition to the cottage although I'm worried it's only putting on a friendly face until its lured me in and made me take it home and then tries to kill me. These things happen.

This is also why my mom refused to let my dad buy that house where the windows and door made an "angry face".


  1. I never would have seen the smile, but that's adorable. It is an ugly chair, though! Ha.

  2. It's like those really ugly puppies (you know, the ones without fur whose tongues always hang out), there's something cute about it, despite all it's flaws. How big is it? It looks huge in the picture.

  3. I would read in that chair. It wins. But put it in the sun so you don't have to spend the first 10 mins warming it up. Cold chair on a cold day is the suck.

  4. That chair is not ugly! & i definitely spotted the smiley face before i even read that far. it looks like a perfect chair to me. i love smiley faces. :]

  5. Well, I mean, duh. That all should go without saying that any inanimate object should always be happy. No one wants sad furniture.

    I now want that chair... badly.

  6. The chair isn't that ugly, but you should see the rest of the suite! The even cheesier grin on the 2 and 3 seaters!!! Oh well, if it would make Essie realy happy... I'd accept the lounge suit, welcome it into the home and learn to love it; just for her sake! - "SD"