Monday, November 29, 2010

Ostriches: Criminals of the Savannah

Here is rare footage of me being attacked by a vicious male ostrich. Let it be known that a male ostrich can slice you open with their big toe, and often do. Without provocation.

PS. Dave says that the ostrich was not “attacking” me. I lured it closer with a bag of dried corn to “see what would happen”. And that there was a giant fence separating us. And that all of this took place at a petting zoo.

I'd like to add that he didn't exactly rush to my aid either.  He claims he was “too busy laughing” at me screaming and throwing corn at the ostrich. But he did acknowledge that if he hadn’t warned me, the ostrich would have pickpocketed my handbag. I looked up just in time to see it’s ridiculous little head examining my new cell phone. Motherfucker.

Hey it looks like I'm holding my boob in this one. I got your corn right here, asshole!

Strangely, it did not "go" for my boob.

Check out Dave's ass.

Since they are both killing-machines, the ostrich gives Dave "five" as a sign of respect


  1. I wouldn't mind seeing an Ostrich try to use a cellphone...

  2. Oh wow. That looks like the cheekiest Donkey face I have ever seen (3rd pic).

  3. That's what you get for going all Florida Padstal... those things are BADASS..

  4. My mom is scared of ostriches. And camels. She just doesn't like things that rush at you and peck you to death. Can't say I blame her.

    That llama is super bad-ass though.

  5. I'm in love with your laugh in the second picture.

    And are you sure you aren't holding your boobs? Is "corn" a code name or something? :)