"You'll feel like you are walking on
"Follow in the footsteps of the Messiah - without having to touch all those nasty lepers."
"The Jesus Sandal Company - since 0 AC"
"Jesus Sandals: if ever there was a shoe you'd want to wear to Judgment Day, these are IT"
"Crossing vast amounts of desert? Multiplying bread and fish? Raising the dead? Then these are the shoes for you!"
And if people don't think they are good, the salespeople can look at them all accusingly and go, "It was good enough for, like, Jesus, man...are you better than Jesus?" and you'd feel really bad. I wish I hadn't blown my Christmas bonus on a Moses robe now...