I was watching the A-team movie with SuperDave and this soldier was in it and he had the COOLEST jacket-thing on with different pockets and zippy-compartments and Velcro straps. It was magical. It looked like this:
ME: "That's awesome. I've got to get that."
SD: "That's a combat jacket."
ME: "Just think. I won't have to lug around a purse anymore...I could put my wallet, my lipsticks, my mirror, my drivers, cards, everything in it..."
SD: "Uh, we just used it to carry magazines."
ME: "Oooh, yes, and you could carry magazines in it!"
SD: (long pause) "Wait...did you just actually think I was referring to Cosmo or something?"
ME: "No. I'm not an IDIOT, DAVE."
(For the record, I totally did.)