Calamari sex

DW and his friend Lance were reading my blog over the weekend and we got - as you do - onto the topic of Asian Squid Porn.

Essie: "It's the latest thing. Trust me. I'm more sexually evolved than you."

DW: "Live squids or dead squids."

Essie (long pause)

Essie: "Dead squids. I read about this guy that likes to use the squid to masturbate and then cooks it and feeds it to his girlfriend."

DW: "That makes no sense. If it was alive, I could understand it."
Essie (long pause): "The fuck!"

DW: "Cos' the tentacles can like...move...and touch you."

Essie: "You've given this a lot of thought."

DW: "Remember when we used to talk about things other than weird sex stuff people email to your blog."

Essie (long pause): "No...."