Dear Mr Seloga, you are a douche-nozzle.

I read this thing about a lion burger that’s being served in America. The owner is quoted as saying:

"In Africa they do eat lions, so I assume if it's OK for Africans to eat lions then it should be OK for us."...We thought that since the World Cup was in Africa that the lion burger might be interesting for some of our more adventurous customers."

Dear Mr Seloga,

In Africa we do not eat lions. Lions eat rotten meat. And Zimbabwean migrants that cross the border illegally. With all the cholera and shitty drinking water we have over here, I think we’ve had enough diarrhoea going around already thank you very much. I’ve personally eaten crocodile, warthog, giraffe, zebra, porcupine and ostrich BUT not lion. That’s just weird. What do you put the fries? Anthrax? We have that over here, too!

As for saying that you want to serve lion burger because the World Cup is hosted in Africa...that’s just stupid. Where you serving panda burgers during the Olympics? You know what else we have in Africa? COWS. Try making a patty outta’ that. It’s worked for centuries.

PS. You are a douche-nozzle.