Wednesday, September 8, 2010

For every single pot, there is a lid. Even weird pots. Pot-smoking pots. Crooked pots. You get the idea.

My mom has a saying: every pot has a lid. Meaning: there is someone for everyone. This is, thanks to the Internet, true and scary.

Type the word "dating" into google.

See? Dating for...walkers.

I'm not sure what a walker is. I googled it and it's either:


But the best site by FAR was Zombie Harmony, a FREE and fabulous dating site for those wishing to hook up with zombies. You can select whether you are looking for a slow-moving, fast-moving or immobile partner and even choose how many limbs he/she should have left. Because the apocalypse doesn't have to be lonely.

Now, you all know that I'm not on the market to date anyone (dead or undead) but I'd like to share with you some important information about how to date a zombie.

1. Communication is key

At some point, your partner may pressure to become a zombie too. Becoming a member of the undead is long-term commitment and a huge step. Don't take the decision lightly. Talk to your significant other and his victims about this before committing to anything.

2. Safety first

Remember that your partner has special needs. Your zombie might get over-excited by huge crowds or public transport and rip someone's arms off by accident. If this happens, quickly apologize and move away to a quiet spot where you can help him calm down.

3. No means no

Zombies may not understand personally boundaries. Teach your partner that no means no when it comes to mauling. Use deadly force if necessary.

4. The eye of the beholder

The biggest benefit (I find) of dating a zombie is that they aren't obsessed with your looks like "normal" guys. Almost all they care about are your brains.

5. Plenty of fish in the sea

If you accidentally or purposefully decapitate your zombie, don't despair. One zombie is pretty much like the next, and you will surely find someone new in no time flat.

Happy dating, guys! I've created my own profile just for fun:

Let me know if you guys make a love connection!


  1. Hello. Wow. Lol. Oh the sites that are out there. Very odd and quite ridiculous. Witty posting.


  2. i thought dating for weird people was weird but then ZOmbies?!?! whoooa ... lol

  3. I like that you did your research, that Walker thing would have thrown anybody.

  4. Those darn zombies... they make some really high maintenance love interests.

  5. i saw your review on


    congrats essie. it was a passing mark! lol :)

  6. I saw their review, too. Cherish that star!

  7. You should probably establish a zombie-dating-advice column. Pro stuff right here.