Damp every day.
I'll leave a big blank space so you all can reflect on the beauty of my poetry.
I stayed in a quaint English Tudor cottage. This isn't it. But it was decidedly quainter than the one I stayed in. I'm all about The Quaint. Yes. That's a real thing.
Here I am at the Queen's Locomotive. It's in a mall in Windsor, so I assume it doesn't go anywhere. I'm not sure why it's cool but my boss made me stand there for a picture and I was rocking awesome oversized earrings, so I obeyed.
Here's me next to the flag at Windsor Castle. The flag indicates that the Queen is home, which is really considerate if you are an assassin or terrorist. I wanted to climb up there for the photo op but then a bobby threatened me and I pretended not to speak English for 20 mins.
Guiness. Happy. Refer to my Haiku for further details. Guiness is actually really weak compared to African beer so I won a weekend worth of free cab rides from these Spanish cabbies in a drinking contest. I'm awesome.
I was trying to be sexy with this guy but in hindsight it looks like I'm kneeing him in the balls. I'm doomed to die alone.