Sunday, September 12, 2010

I'm either in Dubai or the Afterlife. Neither one is fun, though.

Look at me...Blogging from Dubai. I feel so sophisticated.

It took me forever to find a docking station for my laptop because ever single electronic outlet is being crowded by Japanese people. I tried to ask them to move in their own language, but I can’t remember any verbs so I just went “Sumimasen! Sumimasen!” until they got creeped out and left. I’m very rusty but I think the guy said “Tanaka-san, let us get away from crazy person with no shoes before she stab us”.

I arrived at Cape Town International about at 3 pm (about 3 hours before my flight was due to take mom was worried that I would miss the flight if something went wrong or took too long). Of course, by 3.10 pm I was checked in, had my passport stamped and was waiting to board.
Flight was crap. My little TV thinger broke and would only play “Prince of Persia” over and over again and I just had to sit there while it happened to me. Luckily my boss phoned me wayyy ahead of time and told me to get drunk on the plane because there’s no alcohol in Dubai, so the drunkenness took some of the pain away. Plus I stole their little cosmetic kit with the mini-toothbrush and gigantic socks in retribution.  Airportland isnt fun. We ate dinner at 9 pm and then I snuggled under my hopelessly inadequate thermal blankie for a good night's sleep at about 11. Only to be awakened 2 hours later for “breakfast”.

There is no meal I want to eat at 1 am unless I’m hungover. And even then it's always the same meal. A happy meal. I can't face a fruit cup at 1 am on no sleep.

I’ve got another 6 hours to kill in the airport.There is nothing here but giant stuffed camels and Phillipino stewardesses. I still don’t know which gate I’m boarding at and the men in the white pajamas aren’t very helpful either. How come they dress their wives like ninjas but then they make you take off your shoes and belts and jackets at the metal detector?

Here's a photo of me at the airport but it's a bit well-lit and makes me look like a member of the Undead, which is freaky because I dreamt I died on the plane when I nodded off in the vast space between dinner and breakfast. I hope this isn't the Afterlife. If it is, the Afterlife is very lame. Really, you guys have nothing to look forward to.

Dubai, from what I’ve seen out of the window, is very flat and full of fancy hotels. I can’t really give commentary on the place because its my understanding that if I leave I will get arrested. If not for not having a visa, for having my butt crack showing because I had to take off my belt at the security checks and can't be bothered to put it on.


  1. I realize im making loads of errors but its hard to follow this thing cos all the little subtitles are in Arabic

  2. Nah you did alright! And you look great as a zombie, sad that I will have to shoot you with the turrant gun like Raptor Jesus commanded of me.

    And I'm surprised some oil sheik hasn't snatched you up yet.

  3. You have an awesome boss! And I miss South Africa :(