I went to a bbq with this girl who’s boyfriend is a musician, but she doesn’t allow him to perform because she’s afraid of groupies. Well, she should be.
Any girl who – when a singer vomits on stage – scoops it up and “bathes” herself in it is scary. So I gave her some tips in how to handle them. It's not difficult. Just stand in the crowd, eavesdrop and say the following at appropriate intervals:
“Yeah, he’s crazy. Must be the final stage of his syphilis kicking in.”
“You think he’s good-looking now, you should have seen him before the sex change.”
“Yeah, who cares if he’s lip syncing? That’s still talent, right?”
“Am I his what? His wife? Well, yes, one of them.”
“Yeah, but I heard he has penis rot. You never heard of it? You should let him show you. What’s left of it, that is.”