I was brushing my teeth and then noticed what looked like muddy water pouring over the window outside. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was actually an army of gnats flooding to the light emanating from the window. We spent the entire night armed with cans of pesticide trying to get rid of them. There were thousands of them. We switched all the lights off but they were drawn to the light of TV. It was like The Birds but with gnats. Surprisingly it’s even less epic than the Hitchock movie.
DW (spraying them): “Is just me or are they not dying? They keep coming back.”
ESSIE (spraying them): “No, I think these are new ones.”
DW (through a cloud of poison): “Then they are stupid. They should have noticed all the little corpses of their comrades by now.”
ESSIE: “Maybe it’s a strategy. Maybe they keep sending in reinforcements until we’ve sprayed so much poison in the room that WE die. Maybe they are kamikaze gnats.”
DW: “So now what?”
ESSIE: “I say we keep spraying them. I’m committed now.”
At worst, we’ll both be infertile by morning.