Thursday, July 1, 2010

Valley of the Evil Zombie Dolls

Once in a while I throw these big dinner parties where I offer to cook for 12 people and it takes nine hours and I end up resenting and hating and wanting to poison everyone before they even arrive. As a result, I get invited to a lot of people's houses. So basically, I got an invitation to a little girl's birthday party and apparently she collects porcelain dolls. (What happened to Pokemon cards???)

Anyway I started googling around and found this lady that supposedly makes these arty dolls. These were the reviews I found:
". . .evokes a sense of timeless antiquity and memento mori. Museum quality works of fine art by a friendly, talented artist."

"This was created with unbelievable detail and care. A very unique piece; definitely NOT one of the run-of-the-mill "collectable dolls" on the market. And such quick shipment and communication. Thank you so much for a REAL one-of-a-kind piece. I LOVE her!"

Promising, right? Well here are the actual items:




For some reason, the little kid was less than thrilled with my selection. Nonetheless if I get invited to Morticia Addams' next baby shower, I'll have a gift ready.

10 comments:

  1. Oh geez I think I'm gonna have actual nightmares with these dolls around! So scary looking! Haha

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  2. OMG those things are terrifying.

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  3. OK, you should check this out, and save a kitten!
    http://fairweatherdiver.blogspot.com/2010/07/i-love-smell-of-desperation-in-morning.html

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  4. AH! I want to scream/cry/both.

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  5. Hi Essie,

    Your blog posts are ridiculously funny. Followed! These dolls are actually terrifying. Although the top one looks like my childhood friend Mark. He was not a popular kid.

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  6. I feel really shitty for not giving the artist kudos. It's shainerin.com. Check it out!

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  7. lol! I definitely never collect those dolls even when I'm 22.. it will make me paranoid in my own room.. lol

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  8. Holy crap. I'm pretty sure those pictures made me pee my pants a little.

    I'll never be able to look porcelain dools in the eyes without seeing these images again.

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  9. I knew what was going to happen when I read the 'remember your mortality' phrase.

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