Wednesday, July 21, 2010


Well, I got up this morning and noticed that my washing line had gotten stolen. They left some of my techni-colored crocodile pegs, a dust rag and a G-string. I’m not sure exactly when the damn thing went missing. I’m not the best housekeeper. I try to buy things that don’t wrinkle and only work for really unprofessional companies that don’t care if I come to work looking like a hobo. (Or drinking like one, for that matter).

I took photos of the crime scene, but I have a theory that my landlord stole it in retaliation because I stole his potted plant. And...erm...a fence. It was more like half a fence, really. My friend Delora’s husband wanted to make patio furniture out of it and I really wanted to see what patio furniture made out of a fence would look like so I helped it disassemble and steal it.

Really, I’m more offended that he didn’t steal my underwear. Anyhoo, if you see it, please bring it to my house.


  1. I hope you find it.
    I really do.

    When I was little our clothes line went missing...
    Turned out our cat had messed with it, ripped it off the tree and dragged it to his hiding place.

    You don't have any cats do you?

  2. What sort of person steals a washing line?!

  3. Um, yeah, about that...... I don't know where it could have gotten off to.

    Please disregard my shifty eyes.

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