Thursday, July 1, 2010

Shit my Dad Says Part III

My dad is really awesome. I've written about him here and here...Here's a picture of him kinda looking like Moses with Raybans on and my fave Dad-isms:

“You will do as your mom says. I handpicked your mother. You I had to take whether I wanted you or not...and frankly I’m still on the fence about the whole thing.”

“You’re being brainwashed. Your brother is being brainwashed. One of these days we’ll wake up and we’ll all just be communists.”

“Oh you’re wearing clothes...for a change.”

“Didn’t you move out already? Seems like there should be less of you.”

“Gross? That’s not gross. That’s a scab. Gross is when you see a grenade explode in a Portugese guy’s hand and then you have to pick him up and hold his chest closed and put him in your helicopter and fly away with black people shooting at you. That’s gross.”

“Two things. MOVE and OUT. Your mother and I want to go on second honeymoon.”

(to my mom, on vacation, after leaving us alone at home for the first time) “Haven’t heard a word from the kids all week...hope the dogs are OK.”


  1. dads are great for random non-sequiturs like that.

  2. He is awesome...and that little dog? Part of the deal. I don't have a SINGLE picture of him where he doesnt have the dog on his lap.

  3. Bwahahah! You're dad is hilarious! My dad is more the quiet type. His quotable quotes are the more serious kind like, "No one makes in this world on their own." (He only says that at extremely emotional moments where one realizes that they, in fact, can't do everything on their own, and then he helps them out.)

    But my dad does have the dog-- he calls it my little brother. And no one challenges him on it. :)

  4. The dog is one of the siblings...and he's clearly the favorite.

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