You know you're South African if..1) you can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them. Same goes for "Shosholoza".
2) you call a traffic light a "robot", a pickup a "bakkie" and everything remotely fun/enjoyable/tasty as "lekker"
3) your employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy they are
4) you get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather
5) you know what Rooibos Tea is.
6) you know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela
7) you go to "braais" not barbeques.
8) you know that there's nothing to do in the Free State
9) you can do your monthly shopping on the pavement
10) you consider hijacking cars as a profession
11) you reckon that the petrol in your tank may be worth more than your car
12) People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence and Given
13) "Now now" can mean anything from a minute to a month
14) you continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction
15) your travelling at 120 km/h and you're the slowest vehicle on the highway
16) you know that a bullet train is being introduced, yet we can't fix potholes
17) you know that you have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital
18) you have to prove that you don't need a loan to get one
19) you know that prisoners go on strike
20) you consider it a good month if you only get mugged once
21) you take lunch with you when go to the Post Office/Bank/Municipality
22) you love biltong and droëwors.
23) you pay with Bucks, not Rands
24) you don't worry if you don't have a drivers license or registration disc, as long as you have a hundred bucks.
25) you consider a bakkie being a vehicle, not a bowl...
26) you can never find the street your looking for, because the street sign is always missing or unreadable.
27) Cricket and/or Rugby is all the sport you need.
28) you perfectly understand the term "Bring a chop, dop en n pop"
29) the word "Eish" makes you worry horrifically, the word "Sharp" makes you worry somewhat less..
30) the police advise you not to stop if they wave you down in the middle of the night, but rather speed past them and drive to your nearest police station.
31) you continuously vote until the right party wins.
32) your insurance is higher than the repayments on your car.
33) you start joking about the crime rate.
34) Christmas is about watermelon, beach holidays and swimming. Even though we hand out Christmas cards with snowmen on them.
35) Aussies are usually considered nice people until we play them in cricket/rugby, after which they turn into the scum of the earth
36) You know and use the term 'die ref is blind'.
37) You have no idea how to calculate miles, gallons, yards or pints. Or the Farenheit scale.
38) You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from South Africa
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