Friday, May 28, 2010

Sexual Dysfunction 101

I only blogged about it yesterday, but I'm already getting flack because I said I'd do Robert Redford. The only person who remotely sees what I'm on about is my friend Annie, who is 65 and would do William Shatner. But even she doesn't see why I would go for RR, just because he's a celebrity, when I have a "lovely boy like DW at home". Pfft. Here is my full list of weird celebrities I'm secretly into:

  • The New Spock

  • Dr House

  • Sean Connery in James Bond

  • Sean Connery in Entrapment

  • Sean Connery 10 years from now in the nursing home, totally decrepit

  • Gordon Ramsay

  • Tony Soprano

  • Kermit the Frog if he was a real live person and on crack cause he hates his job

  • Bill Clinton

  • The Queer eye for the straight guy-guys

  • All of the Jonas Brothers (and yes - I'd totally tape that, sell that, make millions and go on Oprah about that)

  • Sir Anthony Hopkins

  • Tommy Lee Jones

  • Young MacGuyver sans hair

  • Jeff Probst

  • Hellboy

The list goes on. And don't pretend like I'm weird. I recently did a drunken poll with some friends and we came up with the weirdest places they've ever had sex:

  • the movie theatre

  • alley behind a dumpster

  • the balcony of their apartment

  • the bathroom at Spartacus (yeah that's right, DW, that guy who sat behind you at the Elton John concert? Totally did that)

  • Ratanga Junction Theme park

  • Johannesburg


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