(on phone to girlfriend)
Essie: "Happy International Vagina Day!"
Dee: "I'm not sure Hallmark makes those yet..."
Essie: "This is the worst Vagina day ever."
Essie: "I saw one online that said "My love for you is dear and true, unlike your clitoris, which i am not sure even exists."
Dee: "Speaking of...isn't it DW's birthday today?"
Essie (pause): "Crap."