Monday, June 14, 2010

If men were machine washable maybe they wouldn't die out but as it stands - they have clearly outlived their usefulness

I spoke to my friend Mattie over the weekend. He's thinking of what to send me for my birthday. So this link pops up.

MATTIE: "I'm thinking of getting you this."

ESSIE: "You're thinking of getting me half a sex doll?"

MATTIE: "It's a boyfriend pillow. They designed it for women whose men are in Iraq."

ESSIE: "To train them to get used to husband's with blown off legs?"
MATTIE (pauses): "No..."

I really, really want one now. But I'll probably get attached to it. And it's better than a boyfriend because it is machine washable, refundable and in case you haven't noticed - well dressed. And it doesn't fart in bed. Really, I think it could replace the real thing.


  1. Plus you could bedazzle it and make it pretty! What more could you want in a man than a pretty cuddler?? (except for that one missing part that is kind of important.)

  2. Nice! It also won't eat the ice cream you stash in the freezer for bad days, or argue about what to watch on tv... and fits into most overhead compartments so you don't have to buy it its own plane ticket!

  3. I just read your entire blog. Nice work :D!

  4. This is too funny and who the HELL would want to sleep next to that? It's scary.

  5. a) your blog is HILARIOUS.
    b) that pillow is creepy.