MATTIE: "I'm thinking of getting you this."
ESSIE: "You're thinking of getting me half a sex doll?"
MATTIE: "It's a boyfriend pillow. They designed it for women whose men are in Iraq."
ESSIE: "To train them to get used to husband's with blown off legs?"
MATTIE (pauses): "No..."
I really, really want one now. But I'll probably get attached to it. And it's better than a boyfriend because it is machine washable, refundable and in case you haven't noticed - well dressed. And it doesn't fart in bed. Really, I think it could replace the real thing.