Wednesday, June 9, 2010

When balls attack...Is your husband's scrotum trying to kill you?

DW is sleeping on the couch tonight. And not because of the usual reason, but because I was up late last night and I read this article about a man whose scrotum became possessed and now I'm worried that it's going to happen to DW and that his evil ball is going to attack me while I sleep. For 1) he knows next to nothing about the Dark Arts and is easily corruptable when people offer him candy and 2) ever since we've taken those Japanese classes, he thinks he's speaking Japanese, but he is really speaking gibberish that COULD very well be an evil spell of some kind inviting a demon to take possession of his junk.

Even more disturbing is that the more I look at the photo of the evil scrotum, the more it resembles Kgalema Motlantle who was like president of the country for about 3 seconds back in 2009.

I spoke to my friend Ted who is a part-time Satanist and he said that being attacked by a liberal-socialist testicle is EXACTLY the kind of thing that would end up happening to me. But then he pointed out there is not much a ball can do in terms of assault. Just to make sure I googled when balls attack, and I found this awesome free online game where you get attacked by beach balls and then I was distracted for a while.

I thought of calling my dad to ask him for advice because he was in some top secret unit in the army and is really badass, but he'd probably just tell me not to worry because DW doesn't have any balls.

1 comment:

  1. I find it helpful to think of scrota as space hoppers. They're less threatening that way.

    Does that sound crazy? Well you do too.